10 Symptoms to check whether you are a Control Freak or not in a relationship

10 Symptoms to check whether you are a Control Freak or not in a relationship

Building a long-lasting and positive relationship is always an easy but complicated subject of learning; it depends on the tacit understanding and accommodation of two persons. In the meanwhile, however, if one side does not take a balance in the relationship, it is a warning because crack may be formed under this situation. Do you want to know whether you are a control freak or not? Do arguments always appear in your life? Are you always having many ideas that you would request others to follow? As knowing more about yourself, you could discover some shortcomings that would influence the relationship. Let’s check the following items to see whether you are a control freak or not.

1.      Always providing “constructive ideas” over-enthusiastically without listen and respect others opinion.

2.      A perfectionist. Must do everything perfectly, even though it is just a simple lunch.

3.      Helping others to alleviate their shortcomings and believe that everything will be better.

4.      Always giving conclusive opinion, restricting objections and other ideas.

5.      Extremely judgement, either black or white.

6.      Feeling angry when others do not follow your suggestion.

7.      Always focus on others’ faults to ignore your own faults.

8.      Do not admit and accept your shortcomings and weaknesses.

9.      Cannot understand that different people have different train of thought with different life style.

10.  Cannot live in the moment and understand the simple but good stuffs in the world

A professional interpersonal communications specialist, PatriciaEvans, told us that the above symptoms are exactly what a control freak will have in daily life. The higher items you matched, the more serious control freak you are. Moreover, she further stated that in the aspect of psychology, the cause of control freak is due to lack of sense of security, thus sufferer would like to enforce others to comply with the “command”. Some may say that the people who are a control freak actually do not have malice, because they are only using their method and attitude to treat people well. Nevertheless, an excessive control freak may lead to great impacts to not only a relationship, but also family, friendships or even colleague.

 

Crisis in a relationship

In a relationship, if someone is controlled by other, he or she might have no choice to do somethings that they like or they wish to do because they decide to adapt your opinion. At time passes, partners will lose their right of speech because they realize that their ideas and opinion is “useless”. This may cause disappointment, anger and dissatisfaction; these mean the patience of your other half is started to be obliterate. This could be a serious problem as he or she might no longer bear your bad temper and finally decide to part company.

Conflicts with family and friends

For your family and friends, they all have their own ideas and thoughts. If you force them to accept your judgment, it may trigger conflicts. They would think that you are a person who is selfish, overbearing and disrespectful. It is much easy for your family to put up with you because you and your family are intimate, in contrast, others do have rights to decide who could be their friends. The more conflicts you trigger, the higher chances you lose your friends.

Obstacle in your career

As a control freak, you do have your specific point of view; this may assist you in your career. However, the water that bears the boat is the same that swallows it up. Dealing with your colleague requires different communication skills, while respect and listen to others opinion is one of the important elements. Over expressing your ideas makes other feel annoyed, furthermore, your boss might keep an eye on not only your working ability, but also your interpersonal relation. Therefore, it may affect the opportunity of getting promoted.

Ways of NOT being A Control Freak

In fact, you should be the most serious “victim” under the influence of this personality. You have to overcome tremendous arguments whenever you have different point of views with others. As a result, you will live unhappily day by day together with such negative stuffs. As I mentioned before, the reason of being a control freak is because lack of sense of security. To avoid being a troublesome person, you should build a sense of security by yourself without requesting the obedience from others.

1.      Try to listen others ideas without disturbance.

2.      Try you put yourself in others' shoes.

3.      Do not force others to accept your opinion.

4.      Try to find an intermediate point when you dealing with problem that both sides could feel comfortable and acceptable.

5.      Learn to apologize after quarrel and examine how to avoid it happens again

6.      Everyone has own rights to decide the way they live, support accompany if you love them

7.      Try not to be stubborn on trivial matters; do not make it more serious.

8.      Remember to treasure the one who always pardon you, they do it because they love you.

Be aware to the above items, you may find that your attitude would be changed in one day, and eventually, you would have a better communication with others. Do it immediately, it is good for everyone to be a “better me”.

Target audience: Women

Age group: 18-30

Magazine: Cosmopolitan

Word count: 895

Film Review: The Revenant (2016)

   

 The Revenant (2016)

Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hardy and Will Poulter

Director: Alejandro González Iñárritu
Character: Hugh Glass, John Fitzgerald and Jim Bridger

Plot Genre: Adventure, Action and Feature

Synopsis: A story happens in undeveloped Western America during the late 19^th Century, passengers there are always being attacked by American Indians and fierce animals. A frontiersman, Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio), who is an explorer, is injured severely by a black bear when he and his team in a fur trading. His team, however, leave him afterwards to avoid dangers. Unfortunately, Hugh then is betrayed by his partner John Fitzgerald (Tom Hardy). Hugh needs to overcome all difficulties in the extreme environment by enduring the tremendous pain and strong family affection on his son Jim Bridger (Will Poulter).

Review:
Before watching the movie, I had noticed that Leonardo DiCaprio had won the Best Actor of Golden Globes 2016 of The Revenant, this definitely prompts me to watch it to see the performance of the actor and the successful factors of the whole movie.
Because human beings were not good at communicate with language at that period, it could be seen that the whole process of the story does not include too much dialog but most are the facial expressions of the performers. Therefore director had shot many close up to emphasize the internal monologue of the character. All actor and actress have a great performing skills, all of them are very professional, it leads me totally substitute into the story plot,

To attract large audiences, it does not only require the good actors, but also a good screenplay. It was written by Mark L. Smith and Alejandro that includes many different ups and downs, as well as the climax. In The Revenant, there are some unforgettable and deep-going scenes that stir me up.

The first scene showed that John betrays him by doing something danger to his family. At that moment, Hugh has a great transformation on his mental state because he is impotent do anything due to the injury of himself. Shocking, anger, helplessness and sadness……these emotions are all being shown clearly in the screen. Although there are only little dialogs, but it could lead audience to watch it preoccupied. Therefore, audience could throw themselves into the character; I could not even breathe when I was watching it nervously.


The second scene was the confrontation and revenge to the John, this scene is definitely one of the most important plots because this is one of the important climaxes of the whole story. As the shooting angle is always excellent because it feels like audience could be personally on the scene. I did not stop feeling nervous from tracking the position of John to the ending, which is beyond expectation.



The meanings of the movie does not only present the contradiction between crew members, but also about the family love, Hugh has a great willpower of survival due to his son; the surviving skills in the extreme cold weather, Hugh and some strangers emerge that how savage people live in that period; also, the dangers in late 19^th Century, as the attacks from American Indians are irrational and merciless. These are the details that audience should pay attention. Also, I had gotten the underlying meanings of the movie, which is about the attitude to your enemy. Many will have a strong hostility to that person, and they want to revenge. However, what message that the film brings to audience is that the attitude of facing enmity is depends on your own. Sometimes “let the pass go” would be a better choice for you rather than revenge, because you still could get nothing after you revenge. Different attitude would lead a different life style to you.

Besides, the story flow is fluent and dramatic; we could see that there were different setups in the beginning that could help to make the story become more reasonable and would have more surprises. On the other hand, the clothing and the make-up does impress audiences and strengthen the involvement of the plot.

The production of the movie is enormous and earnest that was took place in the environment of minus forty degree celsius, as a result, it was really a tight challenge to the production crew. Moreover, in the aspect of lighting, director had decided that the whole shooting process could only rely on the natural light; no additional lighting equipment and editing are added. Apparently, this highly increased the difficulties on shooting because there were so many unexpected factors during the shooting process. But finally, they really did a good job.

Target audience: Male and Female
Age group: 18-30

Magazine: HK Magazine

Word count: 769

Film Review: Anniversary (2015)

Anniversary (2015)

Cast: Alex Fong, Stephy Tang,
Director: Patrick Kong
Character: Keung, Bo

Plot Genre: Love

Synopsis: Bo (Stephy Tang) and Keung (Alex Fong) are stepped into 10^th anniversary in the story; they have confronted lots of affairs during this period. They are already to be in another stage of marriage, which is suitable for giving birth to a baby. They both have a stable and reliable undertaking; Keung develops his career in Hong Kong and Bo keep working in a wedding consultancy firm. However, they have different ideas on giving birth baby. Despite there is a divergence between Keung and Bo, Bo still has a strong trust on their relationship because she thinks their love is forever and continue until the white hair of old age, however, cracks have developed. Their marriage need to face other trials…  

Reviews:

Anniversary is a movie made in Hong Kong, as Patrick had already produced a series of movies which were cooperated with Alex and Stephy with a decade, for example: Marriage With A Fool, Love Is Not All Around and L for Love, L for Lies. In other words, those movies were going up together with audience. Therefore, I would think that the one who buy ticket does not only for interest, but also for a complex. Honestly, I do not seek for any surprise for this type of movies, it is because all we know that Hong Kong Movie does not invest too much in it, also, I just believe it is similar effect compare with others in this series as I had watched before.

Story has involved some plot that played in the previous films; therefore I have to introduce some background information first. The personality of Keung a relatively weak, that means he has a better tolerability than Bo. Keung has a good character that he is willing to accommodate to his wife or other else. In contrast, Bo has a doughty personality that leads her to become a person who is much difficult to associate with. And Keung had cheated on Bo before, however she had forgiven him.

After a several years, it is obviously the performing skills of both Alex and Stephy have improved a lot, they acted naturally and fluently, and they could give a vivid portrayal of the characters. For me, the most impressive part does not relate to the acting of the performers, I do have a sympathetic response to the dialog between Keung and Bo. Those are not some famous sayings but the words that suitable to be applied in our daily life. Disputes between couple could happen in anytime for anything, the plot of Anniversary is very true to life.

“Do you know you are so suck? It isn’t easy to associate with you at all.” Keung said.

“Why don’t leave me alone and meet another girl if you think I am so suck?” Bo asked.

“Leaving you doesn’t mean the problem could be solved because others would have no difference.” Keung said.

This made me to reflect on myself of the way I deal with a relationship in usual. What is the actual feeling of my partner on me? I believe that it could enlighten many people on their relationship as well, because none of the couples are perfect match, everyone has shortcoming. We could not treat it as it should be by rights; we should always to be thankful to the tolerability of other half.

Besides, another factor of sympathetic response is the shooting place. Patrick had chosen some famous place in Hong Kong, for instance, the Ferris wheel in Central and Star Ferry in Tsim Sha Tsui. These recalled my memories to reinforce me to involve in the plot, and also increase the realism of couple lives in Hong Kong.

Last but not least, Patrick had a good use on lighting; the environment looks beautiful and soft. However, there is one thing leads to a bit weird, which is the dubbing of the actress from mainland China. In my opinion, it is not suitable to adopt a people with different language, this aims to prevent the strange feeling when audiences are watching the film. I would feel much better if director does not adopt mainland actress or decided to use the real sound.

Target audience: Male and Female
Age group: 18-30

Magazine: HK Magazine

Word count: 750