10 Symptoms to check whether you are a Control Freak or not in a relationship

10 Symptoms to check whether you are a Control Freak or not in a relationship

Building a long-lasting and positive relationship is always an easy but complicated subject of learning; it depends on the tacit understanding and accommodation of two persons. In the meanwhile, however, if one side does not take a balance in the relationship, it is a warning because crack may be formed under this situation. Do you want to know whether you are a control freak or not? Do arguments always appear in your life? Are you always having many ideas that you would request others to follow? As knowing more about yourself, you could discover some shortcomings that would influence the relationship. Let’s check the following items to see whether you are a control freak or not.

1.      Always providing “constructive ideas” over-enthusiastically without listen and respect others opinion.

2.      A perfectionist. Must do everything perfectly, even though it is just a simple lunch.

3.      Helping others to alleviate their shortcomings and believe that everything will be better.

4.      Always giving conclusive opinion, restricting objections and other ideas.

5.      Extremely judgement, either black or white.

6.      Feeling angry when others do not follow your suggestion.

7.      Always focus on others’ faults to ignore your own faults.

8.      Do not admit and accept your shortcomings and weaknesses.

9.      Cannot understand that different people have different train of thought with different life style.

10.  Cannot live in the moment and understand the simple but good stuffs in the world

A professional interpersonal communications specialist, PatriciaEvans, told us that the above symptoms are exactly what a control freak will have in daily life. The higher items you matched, the more serious control freak you are. Moreover, she further stated that in the aspect of psychology, the cause of control freak is due to lack of sense of security, thus sufferer would like to enforce others to comply with the “command”. Some may say that the people who are a control freak actually do not have malice, because they are only using their method and attitude to treat people well. Nevertheless, an excessive control freak may lead to great impacts to not only a relationship, but also family, friendships or even colleague.

 

Crisis in a relationship

In a relationship, if someone is controlled by other, he or she might have no choice to do somethings that they like or they wish to do because they decide to adapt your opinion. At time passes, partners will lose their right of speech because they realize that their ideas and opinion is “useless”. This may cause disappointment, anger and dissatisfaction; these mean the patience of your other half is started to be obliterate. This could be a serious problem as he or she might no longer bear your bad temper and finally decide to part company.

Conflicts with family and friends

For your family and friends, they all have their own ideas and thoughts. If you force them to accept your judgment, it may trigger conflicts. They would think that you are a person who is selfish, overbearing and disrespectful. It is much easy for your family to put up with you because you and your family are intimate, in contrast, others do have rights to decide who could be their friends. The more conflicts you trigger, the higher chances you lose your friends.

Obstacle in your career

As a control freak, you do have your specific point of view; this may assist you in your career. However, the water that bears the boat is the same that swallows it up. Dealing with your colleague requires different communication skills, while respect and listen to others opinion is one of the important elements. Over expressing your ideas makes other feel annoyed, furthermore, your boss might keep an eye on not only your working ability, but also your interpersonal relation. Therefore, it may affect the opportunity of getting promoted.

Ways of NOT being A Control Freak

In fact, you should be the most serious “victim” under the influence of this personality. You have to overcome tremendous arguments whenever you have different point of views with others. As a result, you will live unhappily day by day together with such negative stuffs. As I mentioned before, the reason of being a control freak is because lack of sense of security. To avoid being a troublesome person, you should build a sense of security by yourself without requesting the obedience from others.

1.      Try to listen others ideas without disturbance.

2.      Try you put yourself in others' shoes.

3.      Do not force others to accept your opinion.

4.      Try to find an intermediate point when you dealing with problem that both sides could feel comfortable and acceptable.

5.      Learn to apologize after quarrel and examine how to avoid it happens again

6.      Everyone has own rights to decide the way they live, support accompany if you love them

7.      Try not to be stubborn on trivial matters; do not make it more serious.

8.      Remember to treasure the one who always pardon you, they do it because they love you.

Be aware to the above items, you may find that your attitude would be changed in one day, and eventually, you would have a better communication with others. Do it immediately, it is good for everyone to be a “better me”.

Target audience: Women

Age group: 18-30

Magazine: Cosmopolitan

Word count: 895